For the hungry man: What it is.

I apologize for my unexplained absence and lack of commitment to posting here regularly… I don’t think that will do, so here’s an explanation: Some sand somehow got in my eyes- figuratively speaking- and all my strength and attention these past weeks have been focused on getting the sand out and seeing clearly again. Thankfully, complimented by God’s help, my efforts produced results: the sand is gone and though my eyes are still smarting from the ordeal, I’ll live.

So here I am, trying to pick up from where I left off on the love issue. Honestly, writing about this topic makes me feel like a toddler, who though taking her first uncertain steps, is sure to, with the help of others, learn how to walk gracefully. While I am not unsure of what to write, the l-word as widely used as it is, has a peculiarity of being perceived by different people as different things based on what they have experienced, seen and felt. This makes it difficult to give this entire phenomenon called love a static definitive meaning, so we will be doing this together: I’ll bring up topics and write on them from my own perspective while you express your opinions in the comment thread. Like people standing on different sides of a building, we will together be able to give a holistic description of this l-shaped edifice.

But wait, I had better stop day-dreaming, how could we possibly achieve that when most of my readers are ghosts: reading the posts, passing by without leaving any comment and then taking the pains to make a call to tell me just how much they liked my last post. This is a love-dominated post, so there will be no hard words, just an appeal: please leave your comments, I promise I will reply every one of them.

WHAT IT IS: As varied as the colors of the myriad called love is, it has a quality that is present in all its colors and appearances: love defines life and gives it meaning and substance. It defines our values, ideals, actions and inactions: You love God, you love your family, you love your job, you love your country, you love chocolate, you love the way she walks, you love the way he smiles… like water filling up every hole, crack and crevice wherever it is spilled, that word somehow manages to find its way into every department of our lives. It clings to you like a second skin and follows you about like a shadow. The reason is not far fetched; our lives emanate from love. God, who created all of us, is love, and we carry His nature in us. The very act that initiated the amazing process of bringing us into the world is called ‘love making’. We are wired up to give, receive love and thrive under love-filled environments. That is why love or the absence thereof goes a long way in defining us.

It-or its direct opposite- governs every action of ours and expresses itself in fragments of our personalities. The attributes we possess, good or bad, spring from the presence or absence of healthy love. Good attitudes come from love, bad ones come from its opposite. This does not mean that the presence of healthy love makes you perfect but it means all actions that spring from genuine love are ultimately positive. Your boss cannot really blame you for laziness; you never really loved the job. Your wife cannot blame you for your unfaithfulness; it is not as if you love her anyway.

While love alone does not make our lives perfect, it makes all the difference. Love cannot take the place of commitment and hard work in our relationships, but tons of hard work and commitment in a loveless relationship will produce little rewards. Strain comes into a marriage when genuine love did not form a basis for the marriage in the first place. The ‘marry first and learn to love later’ arrangement does not really work out well; I think ‘love first and marry later’ should suffice. Sister A has been waiting on God for a life partner, same as brother B. A meets B, cork meets bottle, prayer is answered. They hardly know, let alone love each other, they court for 3 months under the supervision of pastor C, and then they wed. God will see them through… Well, I hope so too.

Love is fundamental to our growth and well-being; we all experience challenges and problems at one point or the other in our lives, but people who have the support of loving friends and family members are not driven to despair, the knowledge that someone who loves them cares and understands keep them going until the storm is over. Being in love with someone or something gives purpose and meaning to our lives. Like the saying goes, if you have not found something to die for, you are not fit to live.

The media in form of movies, novels and songs have led us to believe that love is entirely emotional and physical. You cannot fault a fourteen year old for believing that love is having butterflies in your stomach when you see him, or feeling a tingling wave of electricity when you shake hands with her, that’s what harlequin says. However, nothing can be farther from the truth. While emotional and physical attraction make up part of it, love is majorly intellectual, you see what you like and you decide to keep your eyes on it. It is more a mental case than physical. Love is a conscious, deliberate act: you pick out an object and for some reason, you concentrate your attention on it. You can tear your eyes off it but you do not, you DECIDE to love. Like my brother says, all the heart does is pump blood, it does not have any business daydreaming about your object of interest, it’s your mind that does that. People claim to fall in love as if an unseen force pushed them. Truth is, you saw what will make you trip and you walked into it, you fell and did not pick yourself up, doesn’t sound like involuntary action to me.

P.S: You might be wondering what hungry men have to do with love, but you must understand that giving titles is not particularly my forte. This post came after someone called to say he was hungry. The title is my way of saying ‘thank you’ to the hungry man. ‘Blessed are those who hunger…’ God bless you!